Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Unwanted Advice

As someone who is –newly married, pregnant, and a writer I’ve found that people like to give out A LOT of advice whether you want it or not.  Sure I may ask some more experienced writers and authors about their journey or my married friends may have given me some advice about not stressing over wedding planning.  But what happens when you get an advice overload?

You need to do THIS to make your manuscript perfect

If you don’t have real flowers, your wedding will look cheap

You NEED to use these sleep sacks or your baby wont sleep

I’ve heard them all and sometimes all this advice makes me want to pull my hair out.  I constantly groan and moan to my husband about this, but my dear husband always has to play Devil’s Advocate and sometimes he makes the best Devil’s Advocate. 

He always tells me, “You don’t have to listen to your advice, but everyone likes to give it.  People want to help you and it’s not like they’re out to get you.”


It’s true.  Even though I’m sadistic and think that some people just like to hear themselves talk, it’s not like they are trying to hurt me by giving me all this advice they just want to help.  And I guess I’m guilty of doling out the advice when others don’t want it either…but really I just like to hear myself talk and pretend like I’m special.

How do you handle unwanted advice?  Do you find yourself giving out advice without even realizing it?  Is your husband too nice for his own good?


  1. I was going to give you some advice, but didn't know if the sarcasm would come through correctly ;-)

    I fall somewhere between the two of you. I let the person think I'm listening because it would be rude not to and then go home and rant about it to my spouse. I suppose that's not nice, but it seems polite...

  2. Me, too. I listen. And sometimes the advice is good.

    As for myself I occasionally give advise to others. I TRY not to sound preachy and put them off. Really the bottom line is they/we are trying to help.

  3. Loralie- They really need a sarcasm font, don't they?

    Michael- That's a good way to put it preaching v. giving advice!

  4. I'm sorry yeah sometimes it's hard when people are overly helpful. I hope this helps:

  5. I only give out advice when I feel like I truly know something and I could be helpful. But other than that I'm all for people learning by experiencing things themselves and making mistakes.

  6. Cari- Lolcats and Awkward family photos usually make everything better!

    Nicole- I think most of the time it's better to just let people learn from their own mistakes...unless it's something really crazy like querying a first draft then I'll step in.

  7. I pretty much act like I'm listening then do whatever I damn well please.<--sarcasm

  8. Yes my husband is definitely too nice for his own good but then that's one of the things I love about him. People rarely give me advice even when I wish they would. I think I have one of those faces that says Back Off!

  9. Candy- And THAT would be why you kick butt.

    Karen- Maybe that's what I need...a face that says "don't give me advice." Lastnight I tried to give someone a dirty look and my husband said that I just looked constipated. So much for having the nice husband...

  10. I used to argue if I didn't like the advice. Now I smile and say "thanks" and just go doing what I do.

  11. Lydia- Yeah I find that arguing doesn't help much. Just saying 'thanks' is probably a better option fo rus all! lol


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