Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Third Campaigner Challenge- The wastopaneer

Now for the Challenge (and please note the word count change!):



Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post
can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous
blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:
that it’s morning,
that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
that the MC (main character) is bored
that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these
random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these
words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning
other than the one you give them).
 
 
 
The rising sun broke through the waves and spilled light over the
white sand beneath me.  I blinked twice before sitting up.  My head
felt like it weighed a tacise. I squinted at the bronzed beauty laying
next to me, a definite wastopaneer with a farmer’s tan and helmet
hair.  I shook the bits of grit out of my hair and detected something
foul coming from the boardwalk.  I turned towards the smell.  What was
that?  Symbatec and last week’s  sushi was my guess.  I couldn’t sit
there any longer, watching the tide roll in.  I had to escape.  An
outstretched hand burned against my skin.  The wastopaneer had
awakened.
        “Morning,” she breathed.
        “Uh, yeah same to you.” An excuse, an excuse was what I needed.
Something to get me away.
        “Do you want to come to my place and shower before  you leave?” Her
big doe eyes  melted in the rising sun.
        “No, I’m fine, but Thank you.”  I stood up and grabbed my gown,
pulling it over my bare flesh.
        “Don’t forget this.”  My bonnet dangled from her slender fingers.
        I grabbed the white fabric and threw it over my braid, avoiding her
longing stare.
        “Will I ever see you again, Ruth?”
        I let my mind wander to a world where Rumspringa was every day and I
would never go back to the fields.  “Maybe, baby, maybe.”

17 comments:

  1. Ooh I like it!! Great take on the challenge!!

    (I'm entry #5)

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  2. Ooo. I'd like to know how she got there, and if she's going to go back or not. The Amish twist at the end is intriguing.

    Great work.

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  3. Great twist at the end, and a fantastic take on the challenge.
    Mine is #25.

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  4. Great challenge post. I enjoyed the ending. Very original.

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  5. Wasn't expecting that, which makes this entry all the more fun. Once again, great job! :)

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  6. sombody is having second thoughts. lol. mine is #56

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  7. I didn't see that coming :) Will she go back? I'm so curious.

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  8. Nice twist at the end! Great job!

    I'm entry #69 :)

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  9. Great twist and awesome piece overall, Magan.

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  10. I like the indecision at the end of your piece... leaves it open to possibilities...
    You did a good job with the 3 nonsense words as well.
    (My entry is no.#47)

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  11. Gown and bonnet on the beach? Repulsed but attracted? Push her away but pull her back in? Very interesting, indeed. Great job! I'm #65.

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  12. Very original. I like how you revealed those twists little by little until the end.

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  13. Great story. I'm helping judge this round and advanced your story onto the next round of judging. Good luck.

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  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  15. Nice Amish twist, liked it.

    mood
    (new follower)
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino
    no.79

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  16. Great job! Love the Amish twist! Someone is having second thoughts.

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