This is an open letter to a certain agent (No names mentioned...i will not embarass her that much) as to the reasons why you want me as a client.
Dear Ms. Agent Majesty of the book universe,
As you know, (if you are reading this...are you reading this? Because if you are that would be SWEET!) My name is Magan and I wrote a book.
It's actually really funny. I think I'm kind of funny... I mean you did say that my first chapter made you laugh and that was something that you couldn't ignore. I do firmly believe that, as I have quoted in my book, "Humor and food can fix anything." Which I really believe that. I think if all the world leaders got together and had an Iron Chef competition we may be closer to World Peace. Okay actually that might not work. The Prime Minister from France would probably prepare some awesome French dish that everyone would be jealous of and then the Italian Prime Minster would get all angry because he would think that he had the best dish. Then it could could be WWIII. That would make a GREAT reality show though.
I literally just proved nothing to you there, except for the fact that I think about cooking and food alot. Which is why my book is AWESOME. I talk about food and actually have people eating. I even incorporated my own attempt to make prailines in the book. Which does lead to the next point that there is so much of ME in my book and writing. I read so much writing were there are unbelieveable characters and situations. No,no I dont' do that. I truly did get my heel stuck in the wooden plank floor of a pool hall and fall. It was not pretty.
Not only does my book contain bouts of humor, my love of food, and so much realness, BUT I'm also willing to put those all into action to promote it. My grandmother-in-law has agreed to teach me to make prailines (so I won't burn down the kitchen...again). I am willing to go to every book store in America and stand with a box of prailines in one hand and a copy of my book in the other. (I would TOTALLY buy the book if the author did that. Okay, no I may not. I would actually probably pick it up and then put it down somewhere else in the store while I ate the prailine.)
In short...I want you to want me...I need you to need me. Okay now I sound creepy. But I just want to say that that one bit of positive feedback made my WHOLE week. I was so happy I even went to the gym! It was like eating a whole box of Girl Scout cookies! A big chocolate/carmel happiness laced in an e-mail from an agent. I want to work with you. I want you to help me make this novel the best darn thing it can ever be and for you...I will promise to promote the heck out of it! I would offer you prailines...but they are picky little buggers and wont set in the right temp so they probably can't be mailed. I do make one heck of a Lasagna though...
Anywhooo....Enjoy...we'll see if you read this, but if you don't well I just kind of put out all my weird little quirks for my loyal 8 fans! WOOO GO LOYAL EIGHT FANS.