Monday, July 25, 2011

Hey Jealousy

I hate to admit it, but I need to.

I am a very jealous person.

I don’t know if it has something to do with my low self-esteem and comparing myself to others, or if it’s just the Social Media culture of my generation that has put all the world’s braggings out there for everyone to see.

Every time someone gets an agent or book deal – I get jealous

Every time someone gets more comments on a picture of their new baby on Facebook – I get jealous

Every time someone gets more comments on their blog than me – I get jealous.

Jealousy is such an ugly thing and I really hate it, but it’s SO hard to hide that green eyed monster.  Sometimes we all just have to stop, put down the computer, and just be thankful for what we have.  I’m not saying that Social Media is making this whole jealousy thing worse, or that I’m narcissistic whenever something that I think people should be envious of happens.  But I do think sometimes it’s best just to step away from it all and then really look at what you have.  We have to stop looking at what we don’t have or what we really want and look at all the things that we have accomplished.

I have finished two manuscripts

I have a beautiful daughter and loving husband

I have a great job that pays the bills so that I can continue writing

These are what we should all focus on instead of the jealous aspects of our lives.  And slowly…I need to learn to practice what I preach.

Do you get jealous?  How do you deal with jealousy?


  1. All the freaking time! How do I deal? I try to be the best me and continue to strive for the thing I don't have. Honestly, it's the best way to put the green eyed monster to work for me. He kicks my butt in gear constantly. (Hugs)Indigo

  2. I'm just like you--human. Not Mother Teresa. I totally get jealous. I wallow in it and stew a while...and then with time, it fades to a far less vivid green, and I move on.

    You're SO not alone.

  3. I hear ya. And I agree with Indigo--I just keep pushing on. Because in the end, that's all I can do.

    *hugs tight*

  4. Totally! Jealousy is a part of human nature. Me, I just try to push past it and to feel good for the other person who was more fortunate than me.

    "It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got." ~ Sheryl Crow, Soak up the Sun.

  5. I mentioned my jealousy problem once in a comment, and the blogger gave me such a brilliant response. She said, "Karen, it's not jealousy, it's your competitive nature, and with that you wouldn't strive for anything." So that's how I try to think of it. It's striving not jealousy. Does that help? It sure helped me, because I am very striving and very competitive. It fuels me and keeps me trying harder.

  6. I meant "WITHOUT that you wouldn't strive for anything" Big meaning change!

  7. Indigo- You're right! I guess I need that Green Eyed monster to push me further and to just use him that way!

    Lydia- ALWAYS good to know that I'm not alone

    Amparo- Thanks! I needed a virtual hug

  8. Kelsey- Those Sheryl Crow lyrics fit PERFECTLY!

    Karen G- The funny part is, I didn't realize the faux paus...I guess that means I'm not the best editor? But being competitve can't be a bad thing!

  9. Everybody gets jealous to an extent, it is a case of the grass looking greener sort of thing. I deal wth it the same as you and take a step back and look at myself. I realise then that my life may be an object of jealousy, as would yours be.

  10. I think it's all just part of coveting the things we thing will make us happy. Human nature and all that. The important thing is that we recognize we're doing it :)

  11. I think jealousy can be a motivator sometimes, if used productively. Say, for example, an ex of yours has been on the NY Times bestseller list numerous times. And you see his books at the airport. And his smug face on the back of a book. Well, it just motivates you do better, to set higher goals. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

  12. Tony- Welcome to the blog! I agree, sometimes I do have to take a step back and see all that I have and that maybe the grass isn't greener.

    Steph- I guess it's good that I recognize it rather than just stomping and pouting?

    Samantha- There was actually a book about that, but I feel that you may have a story regarding that? Ha.


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