Friday, April 30, 2010

Who is the punching bag?

The big question is, who is the punching bag?

Well, even though I lost a follower, I still feel like someone reads this and obviously you all need some explaining.

I grew up in a very small town. We actually didn’t get our first stop light until I was in high school! So growing up in a small town, with a graduating class of only 112, it was easy to see how I was outcasted so early.

I was born in 1987 to a loud, Italian hairdresser and a quiet, southern realtor. As an only child I grew up with a very active imagination and a constant need for friends and acceptance, no matter where I got it from. The only problem with trying to gain acceptance was the fact that I was short, overweight, and had really bad teeth till I got braces in middle school. You know how your mom always says that kids make fun of you because they’re jealous? It’s not true. They make fun of you because sometimes people really don’t have anything better to do than point out the bad things in others. I admit, I’ve been guilty of it myself.

Throughout my middle school years it didn’t get any better. I dealt a lot with depression and my weight issues. I know everyone now acts like you know depression is some sort of an emo fad with kids talking about slitting their wrist and their teenage angst, but back in the early 2000’s y ou were just a freak if you had any sort of a mental illness. Back then I had no idea how to cope with the tormenting and teasing and it just kind of lead me into a pretty dark place in my life.

Eventually I did spring out of it. I’m going to fully admit that right here and now it was solely because of a boy. I had surgery (deviated septum and tonsillectomy) well that dropped my weight down about forty pounds and then I met someone from another school and we started dating. Girls laid off me as bad when I had a boyfriend and kind of kept to myself and stopped hanging out with people from my own school. It made things a lot easier to be invisible and escape to writing and books.

Of course like every high school relationship that one ended then I gained back a lot more weight. Though once I got to college it was like a whole new chapter in my life. I didn’t worry about being accepted by everyone and eventually did find my place. By my senior year I became the person I am today (well physically) I dropped A TON of weight, started doing my hair and makeup, and all of sudden boys and people wanting to be my friend came out of nowhere! It was weird that once I was comfortable with myself then other people seemed draw towards me.

After college I started working for a major corporation, got engaged, and bought a new car. When I went home to see all those people that used me as their ‘punching bag’ in high school. Well let’s just say they were nowhere near where I had gotten in life. So that’s where the inspiration for this blog came. Fighting back to all those people that made fun of me just by accepting myself for who I am and being proud of what I’ve done so far. I also tend to rant or talk about my writing because let’s face it I have to pimp myself out somehow!

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