Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Teaser Tuesday

So...for this addition of Teaser Tuesday I am doing something a bit differant.  As you know, I'm writing an alien novel.  Well I've written three differant beginnings.  My husband likes one and I'm teetering on the other two.  So for this Teaser Tuesday I need your help!  I'm going to post the first page of my three differant beginnings (I've only really only wrote about 5 pages for each) and you all vote for one!  Let the helping start!  (Anotherh note:  These are all first drafts and have not been checked for grammar, spelling, or punctuation.)

Option #1 (they are in order of when I wrote them as well)

The first day of summer vacation should always be spent sleeping in NOT waking up at the butt crack of dawn to get to the airport. Unfortunately that's exactly what I am doing. While other seventeen year olds are curled up in their beds and dreaming of burning all of their textbooks I am shoved into the backseat of my mom's Geo, which smells like fast food and cigarettes.

"I still don't understand why I have to sit in the back or why Brian even has to come with." I mumbled crossing my arms across my chest.

"You know I get car sick." My annoying half brother screeched in his annoying overly nasally voice. "And I have sweet grades, so mom doesn't have to send me to Mexico to work."

Okay I wasn't going to Mexico, but it might as well have been. New Mexico, why is it even called that anyways? I had only been there one other time to visit my dad and there really wasn't anything new about it.

Since I was a soon to be high school senior with mediocre grades and my only extra ciricular activities being blogging and World of Warcraft, well that didn't exactly look the best on college applications. So, basically, my dad hooked me up with an internship at the air force base that he works at to sort of pad my college applications, or to punish me for spending more time in the cyber world than the real world, either way, I was not happy.

Option #2

Some girls have all the luck and some girls are stuck spending their summer in the middle of the desert. I'm definitely the latter of the two.

As I sit in the Roswell international airport I can't help but wonder why I agreed to this arrangement.

A summer internship with the Air Force aeronautical claims division. Doesn't that just sound riveting?

"But think how good it will look on your college applications!" My mom gushed.

Her husband, or the man droid with a bad toupee, didn't even look up from his blackberry to respond to her. He was probably happy to get rid of me for the whole summer. All he ever did was complain about how much time I spent on the computer, which I think he was just jealous that I have more blog followers than he does, and build model race cars. I don't know how my mom could stand him.

"I have enough to put on college applications." I sighed swirling her pathetic attempt of spaghetti noodles with my fork.

"Yeah I don't think your sappy blog posts count as something to put on a college application." My half brother, Jordan, snorted, pushing up his glasses as he did so. I swear, for only being twelve he's half way to being the most know it all person in the world and probably tied for person being allergic to the most household objects.

Option #3

If you would have told me, at the beginning of that summer, that I would come face to face with death all because of a Romeo and Juliet romance, I would have never believed you. Especially since that summer started out with so much heartache.

“Your mom told me about Vassar.”

I watched as the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport started to fade away in the background. The blazing heat waves made it look like it was literally melting into the sand.

"Being waitlisted isn't so bad. I mean it's not like they rejected you." My dad glanced sideways at me. Something had changed in him since I saw him last. Okay so it had been seven years since I'd seen him, but somehow he looked different like he had been waged in a difficult war, one that still haunted him, but barely lived to tell the tale.

"Saying that you liked my haircut or even asking what I've been up to may have been a better intro." I scoffed, watching the cactus disappear in the rearview mirror instead of meeting his gaze.

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'm just trying to let you know that I'm here for you, Sofie."

I wanted to laugh, but instead I did what every good teenager does, put in my earbuds and zoned him out. I had no idea how far it would be till we got to my dad's air force base, but I didn't want to be stuck telling him my entire life story before we even got there.

"You know, Sofie, this internship is one of the best in the country. Once Vassar sees it you're sure to be off the waitlist and first in line to pick out your dorm." My dad yelled, trying to drown out my music with his thick Boston accent.


  1. I like how in all three the protagonist's snarky voice comes out. I love 2 & 3, not sure which one I would go with but you could always try to write a little more of each and see which opening flows better with the rest of the novel. Hope that helps!

  2. I'm partial to #2. I think you have some good humor in #1, but the descriptions are a little overdone. The second one is more streamlined while still keeping that humor.


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